Part 17: Orre You Serious?

Part 17: Orre You Serious?

Pokemon HQ Lab



Gah! Well that seems to be the way to start the postgame.



Oh yeah, I forgot we had a sister. Well, no need to talk to her ever again.




You can find out about this Battle CD at the start of the game. Now is when we can finally obtain it. Of course there's postgame CDs!



I panicked and sent the E-MAIL before I finished it, but I'm glad to hear that you've received it! Well, that's not important. I was inspired by your battle exploits, DAVID, you see. It made me want to have a battle with you. That said, DAVID, there are countless TRAINERS that would be honored to battle with CIPHER's nemesis. I therefore decided to take charge and organize a COLOSSEUM event. Impressed? But before we talk, we must battle, you and I. En garde!

Trainer Battle







Well this is a more impressive team than when we last fought him. Uh, for the most part, Pichu are not threats.



Neither are the Pikachu really, since they're so fragile. But they have Light Balls, so their one attack is gonna hurt. Don't get too excited either, Thief doesn't permanently steal items in these games.



The Raichu are a bit tricky, since they're 10 levels higher than us, and all of his Pokemon have Static, so expect to get paralyzed.



Oh I know what's coming next.



Least we can take one down, but it's the other Raichu that has Thunder.



FUCK



Well it's not too hard a fight, especially if you have any Ground types.



The toughest TRAINERS in the land have gathered with you as the goal, DAVID. We'll be waiting for you at the ORRE COLOSSEUM.



Ah so this is where this place was hiding last game. It took us a lot longer to reach the Deep Colosseum, so if this place is as fun as that, then we'll be in for a good time. Let's go!

Orre Colosseum



Alright, time to make a challenge.



What's there to explain? I'll use my 6 Pokemon, gain experience and cheese the hard battles with items. Gonna be a breeze.



Perhaps you should make a challenge to gain experience. Are you ready to enter? Thank you. Let the ORRE COLOSSEUM BATTLES begin! Please, go in!



O-Oh, we're getting all Stadium in here. That's fine, I can still win with 4 Pokemon, even being at level 60 is nothing against Revival Herbs.




You couldn't dream of beating me! ...what? I'm just following along with the dialogue.



Wait a minute, what's this guy's team like? I feel like I'm missing something here... let me just bring up Bulbapedi-





Oh no



OHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOO we have made a terrible mistake.



The Orre Colosseum is nothing like the postgame colosseums from, uh, Colosseum. It's more akin to the Battle Mode in that game, which is why this game doesn't explicitly have a Battle Mode. All opponents you'll face will be level 60 and have proper movesets, EVs and IVs, as well as a specific strategy that ranges from infuriating to downright luck based. You can't come straight here after beating the game with your story team. As you just saw, I got flattened, rolled up and tossed aside, so if I want to get through this place without trading over my Battle Frontier team from Emerald, then I think we should see what the rest of the postgame has to offer.






A very nice haul from Citadark Isle, as expected since we caught THIRTY SIX Shadow Pokemon in that one area. Remember that Colosseum had 48 total Shadow Pokemon. (Okay, 51, but we don't count those). We've got a LOT to purify.



yessssssssssss



We need to restock on items. And Pokeballs, we're not done with Shadow Pokemon just yet!

Miror B. Encounter



Guess I died of boredom during that final battle, cause I'm in heaven.



Guess who has the last Shadow Pokemon in the game?



Why do you always mess with our plans to get all the POKEMON in the world? No thanks to you, we've lost more POKEMON than we've caught!



Let me wind down the music and take a look! Oh, you are! You are that super-annoying brat! It's all your fault that my SHADOW POKEMON is the last of its kind! But you did worse! You messed up my dance for celebrating the future of TEAM MIROR! Today of all days, you're not going to get away! No, you'll never, never get away! Let the music play!

Miror. B Battle







Now this is a postgame battle! Once you've captured the other 82 Shadow Pokemon, you can face Miror B. to snag the final one. Yes, this does indeed mean this is the last battle against Miror B., but I am sure he will return in future. Regardless, he still lives in our hearts.



Also yeah, because of Swift Swim and really strong Water moves flying around everywhere, this battle is REALLY hard. But hey, this is the most immediate postgame thing we can do, so might as well go for it!



Thankfully we're able to get a few hits in here and there, but Ludicolo are pretty dangerous Pokemon, especially in the rain, as we've seen in multiple VGCs.



Like, one of our fastest members gets outsped and OHKOed by a rain boosted Hydro Pump. Super scary!



Thankfully even Kakyoin and Portobello can survive a hit. Unless they have Grass or Ice moves. Uh, which they obviously do.



Still, that's two of them down, so we're nearly halfway there!



Ah damn, I was hoping they would both target Rednammok, since he was low on health. But I guess not.



Still, we've been pissing about so much that rain has stopped, so hey, some of our team outspeed them again.



Ah, well, it was nice while it lasted.



Portobello is pretty great in this fight, since only one of the Ludicolo can actually hit it for super effective damage. It's incredibly rare that they go for any of their Fighting moves. However, since I don't spoil myself on movesets beforehand, I was thinking that they all had Ice Beam or Ice Punch. After all, why wouldn't they?



Hey at least Pineapple can survive two hits, so long as they're not both rain boosted. We are having a hell of a time, but we're also doing alright, mainly because Revival Herbs are the best item in the game and let me get away with this bullshit.




However, Revival Herbs only let me do so much against an onslaught of rain boosted STAB attacks. We might be in trouble here, since now they seem to be going for Fighting moves, weird.



Oh sweet mercy.



While that's unfortunate, we're so close to the end! You would've known about Dragonite not only from the Shadow Snag List, but also from the worker inside the Cipher Key Lair, who told you what Shadow Pokemon Miror B. had stolen.



Of course, it's a Dragonite with hard hitting super effective physical Shadow moves. Gotta neuter it.



I'm, uh, also starting to run out of Revival Herbs, despite buying a few more specifically for this battle.




If Dragonite hadn't gotten paralyzed there, I probably would've lost, but who knows what Shadow moves it would've gone for.




Okay, that's enough of that strategy for a while.



This thing is so much stronger than us that I knew an Ice Beam from Kakyoin wouldn't be enough to knock it out. If not, well, I made a save state just beforehand. You can never be too careful with RNG. I wonder how many turns have passed, I hoped we don't take too long catching thi-



Dragonite, 45 catch rate (50%, low health, paralyzed, Ultra Ball or 78%, low health, paralyzed, 20+ turn Timer Ball), starting moves: Shadow Rush/Hyper Beam, Shadow Down/Heal Bell, Shadow Shed/Dragon Dance, Shadow Storm/Earthquake

Oh okay, we'll just catch it first time. Anyway, for the final reward of the game (final good reward anyway), Dragonite is definitely a scary Pokemon with impressive stats all around and a great movepool. With its moveset, it's obvious it can be a physical sweeper and you can relearn Wing Attack easily enough, as well as Brick Break and Body Slam. Dragon Claw is the last TM you can get in the Orre Colosseum, so it'll miss out on that STAB until then, but it's not a huge deal, it can use any good special attack you can think of to slot in, such a Thunderbolt for those pesky Ice Beam carrying Water types and Fire Blast for Steel types. It'll usually need a Dragon Dance to be the most effective, but once it's ready to start taking names, it'll be a great help to you. You've seen how tough things are gonna get, so no harm in using those tough mons yourself, right?



That SHADOW DRAGONITE was CIPHER'S very last SHADOW POKEMON! There's only one thing to do now!




Huh? What is this? In my perfectly coiffed afro do, I found this little device.



Our goodbye must be a harsh one. Farewell Miror B. May you rule the world one day, I'm rooting for you.



There's only one new thing on Citadark Isle. Is Greevil is still upstairs? Well, who cares about him anymore.

Phenac City



Yep. There's a Battle CD at the back of the Phenac Colosseum, in the postgame. The fuck, game?



Oh I guess there's also this girl.



This isn't strictly a postgame battle, you can fight her as soon as you free Phenac. But weirdly enough, you can never rematch her, so either fight her then, or now. So hey, let's do it now, since the CD is the only reason you'll ever come back here otherwise.



There are of course plenty of trainers to rematch in the postgame with strong teams. It's one way to train up for the Orre Colosseum, but come on, I'm not doing that, I want some real postgame content. I barely rematched any trainers last game and I'm not gonna start now!




Though of course I'm being coy. There are no more unique postgame fights. There is more postgame, but that's only after you've beaten the first round of the Orre Colosseum. And even then, it's not something you can do to toughen up. Think the Delta Episode, but longer, more annoying and with no battles. XD's postgame fucking sucks, cause it's really small and it expects you to just trade over battle facility ready Pokemon to actually beat it. That's never fun.



So what are we going to do then? Sure, I can take on the rest of the Orre Colosseum with some hacked Pokemon, like I always do for battle facilities. But there must be a way to access the rest of the postgame otherwise.



Like the last game, we can now trade Pokemon over from the main series games, though you're not able to trade straight from Colosseum, alas. Now for the rest of this update, since the postgame is small and bad and the remaining CDs are small and bad, we might as well lump it in now. It'll be important for stuff next update anyway.



Reward: Full Restore




The hell? They're making us win a full battle in just two turns. With all the Pokemon we have, there's a lot of strategies we could use.




Since the opponents don't really do much of anything, the puzzle is figuring out how to beat them in the time limit.



Well the first step is weakening Magneton, but not enough so it knocks it out, otherwise the Pokemon that get sent out end up with Aggron at the start of turn 2, who will use Protect and fail us.




There we go, that's much better. We'll use Metagross since it has the highest Attack out of everyone and it has Earthquake.



Oh really now?




And with double Earthquake, that's how we beat 6 Pokemon in 2 turns. As easy as that.



Reward: Nugget, CD 34




Aw look at their widdle faces. We mostly have type advantage and the moves to pull through. Should be easy enough, but low level battles are scary since you don't get much leeway.



Oh. Shit. Chikorita is able to take a few hits, heal up with a Sitrus Berry and can even knock out Smoochum, but I guess not this time. Ah well, my favourite starter line shined enough last game.



Alright, let's get serious here.



Wahey, we take those.



Pfft, whatever. While Dig didn't knock it out, Quick Attack does just enough.



All Magby does is Seismic Toss, so we have exactly four turns. Why couldn't you have the HP IVs for 21??? Also, why are my attacks doing so little damage?



Oh right. I forget about these things way too easily.



Reward: Nugget




We had an easy enough time last time, but can we flip the tables?




See, this is what should've happened last battle!



Especially since it's nearly demolished half our team.



But hey, all we need are four Seismic Tosses. So how lucky are we feeling?



I'd say pretty lucky.



But how lucky are we really feeling?



The perfect amount. I love/hate Double Team.



Reward: Salac Berry, CD 45




Should be easy, the Regis are super shit offensively. So the fact that this is an A side worries me greatly.



Well that was super obvious.



Even the SpDef behemoth struggles against Raikou's Thunders. Especially since Sitrus Berries are only 30HP recovery.



Well that's what I get for using Thunder anyway.



Onto the last one already.



Pfft, that's not going to matter.



Oh shit it actually did.




Oh for... will you just die already?!



Whatever, I'll take it.



Reward: Salac Berry




Ugh, welcome to the worst Battle CD in the game. It's not the hardest, the Latis VS Birds was the hardest since we didn't have Soul Dew and they do a lot of damage when they target down one Lati. But this CD is one of the longest and it is very easy for things to go wrong.



Firstly we need to make sure we can actually take attacks.



At least this is easy enough, but you might get unlucky with Double Team.



It even lets us survive a few Fire attacks.



Unfortunately this is all Regirock does in this fight.



The final matchup is frustrating, since all you can do is Toxic stall.



Which lets Suicune get off two Hydro Pumps before we can even boost. This ain't looking good.



You can definitely win this if you get lucky with Hydro Pump misses. But I don't see one of those around here. Still, at +6, we could survive another one.



Oh right, never mind. Whatever, it was only a 14 turn fight that involved some stalling so it took forever. We need to sort our strategy out. The most consistent way of winning is to switch Regice out after it's beaten Raikou, so you can then use it at the end of the battle for the last few Poison turns if Registeel faints. Let's try it.



Uh



Okay, annoying but not a huge de-



Oh come on! If you get burned, then Regirock is no longer able to 1v1 Entei if you switch out Regice. Let's just restart, since Registeel really can't take much damage, we need to conserve it for Suicune.



FUCK OFF



Still, Regice lives and takes it out! And yes, I also got para'd, because this CD wasn't shitty enough.



And this time Suicune pisses about so Registeel will faint, but then so will Suicune.



I saved Regice for this moment, so like hell I'm gonna let it go to waste! Let's just pretend this CD never happened.



Reward: Sacred Ash




Aw yeah, I'm gonna win me the Unova League! Because that's how you end a trashfire of a league in a trashfire of a series.



Is it even possible to beat this Pokemon? Let's find out.



I'm not sure if Helping Hand still works if the Pokemon using it faints, but it's better than it doing nothing.



Oh yeah, that's the stuff.



A necessity, since paralysis is so good.



Now it's time for Eevee to be useful.



Well that's to be expected, but now we can use Flareon's Shadow Ball! The crit just speeds this battle up.



Eevee lasted a lot longer than I expected, but Umbreon can chip it easily enough.



And then Flareon beats Mew. What you so surprised about?



Haha, why would you ever bother going to Mt. Battle, when both Battle Bingo and Battle CDs give you many more Poke Coupons. Coupled with the many free items you get, especially some free Salac Berries and a Sacred Ash (which can only be legit obtained in this way in Gen 3), means it is very worth your time doing these. Sure, some of the CDs fuckin suck, but the strategies and cool battle mechanics you use here definitely make it worth it.



Well that didn't get us that much closer to beating the postgame, so I guess I'll have to climb Mt. Battle to train up my team. Joy, what a way to spend a few hours.